“I’m thankful You know what’s going on.” These are the words I spoke and found comfort in last night. Isbe had woken up crying her ‘something’s really wrong’ cry, which in and of itself is not necessarily a rare thing at night. What concerned me the most was how tight she gripped me when I picked her up, how she wouldn’t let go of me even as I sat with her in the rocking chair. Usually she’s easy to put back to sleep, but not last night.
After I returned to my room, I prayed over her and asked God to give her what she needed. “Heal her if she needs healing. Give her peace. I come against fear and bad dreams. Comfort her how she needs it, Father.” I ended that prayer by saying, “I don’t know what’s wrong, but You do. I’m thankful you know what’s going on even when I don’t.”
I had decided it had been a bad dream, but the night proved a little long as she kept waking up with that startled cry. Each time I would go in and comfort her, nurse her back to sleep, and then gently place her back in her bed. When I woke up this morning for the day, it became apparent that my little girl had caught the small cold I had a few days ago. So that was the answer. Still, it’s hard sometimes when our little ones can’t tell us exactly what’s wrong and we don’t always know how to make it better in that moment. Thankfully we have a God Who does know and He knows how to fix it.
I am a reader and I think because of that, I try to see where the threads of everything lead. If I make this decision, this will happen. If I pray this way, this will be the result. But it’s not always like that. I am not omniscient. I don’t think I would want to be. But God is. God sees the threads of time and circumstances. He sees the beginning, the end, and all that could or will happen between those two points. He sees when threads split or come together. God sees it all so that we don’t have to.
I often think of Daniel, whose answer to a prayer was held up because of opposing forces. He didn’t know that, all he knew was he hadn’t received an answer yet so he kept praying. But God knew. We don’t always see the “behind the scenes” of things. We don’t always know why our babies are crying or why we didn’t get that thing we wanted. But God does. Just as I found out the answer to my daughter’s discomfort, just as Daniel finally received an answer to his prayer, we usually find out the “why’s” down the road. The good news is that God doesn’t have to wait. He knows the answer before the question is even asked.
I’m thankful I serve a God Who knows what’s up even when I don’t. I’m thankful that I can trust Him to do what needs to be done when I can’t. I’m thankful that I can pray, not as a last resort but as a way to keep connected to God and as a way to fight for what needs to be done. In the moments when I say, “I don’t know,” I can also boldly say, “But God does.”